Stepping into the light

I’m now in my third week, after packing away my boy-clothes for a while. And I’m absolutely loving it, despite the extra hour each morning getting ready.

This is already the longest stretch I’ve ever tried, and it feels sustainable despite some bits of routine that need improvement. Aside from a short visit to a rural part of the former Yugoslavia, where I don’t feel confident that I’d be safe yet and thus will revert to Robert, it’s Sophie all the way through to early December now.

I’ve renamed the Blog, and changed my LinkedIn, to reflect my surname. Now there’s really no excuse for anyone not realising who I am.

Why now? Because I feel like it. None of us are getting any younger, so why NOT now? When one runs out of f**ks to give, one loses the capacity to just be scared all the time.

“You have no fear any more.
You’re completely free.”

V for Vendetta

Of course there are problems. The question of access to toilets can still be difficult, and those difficulties are not yet resolved. I’ve been through airport security & passport control before, but only once. Until Saturday, that is, when my experience will triple in just a few short days.

In some ways, it makes life so much easier. I no longer find myself thinking “can Sophie do XYZ or does Robert need to do it instead”. Sophie just does it.

Where does this all take me ultimately? I don’t know. But right now I simply don’t care; I’m just going to enjoy the journey.

“Step out of the shadows; the light has been waiting for you all along.”

So here I am, visible, looking pretty good I think, feeling great, and just trying to live my best life for now.

I’m sure I’ll feel the urge to write more soon; it’s good to talk, and it’s great to be me out in the bright sunlight and not hidden in the shadows.