It’s three weeks since I wrote about “Stepping into the light”. Since then, I have been having a great time, and introducing Sophie to just about everyone; I’m not hiding her any more, that’s the whole point, and indeed I am actively introducing her to people who know me as Robert but have been as-yet unaware of the existence of Sophie.
A cast of thousands
The set of { friends + family + colleagues + acquaintances + former colleagues + online-only acquaintances } now exceeds two thousand people in more than 20 countries across 6 continents… but disappointingly I don’t know anyone in Antarctica to make it a full set of continents.
This is a great deal more than I expected, and provides a statistically interesting sample.
The good, the bad, and the ugly reactions
I haven’t had any really bad reactions yet, although just a couple have been a little fractious.
In the vast majority of cases it has been a no-fuss acceptance. For many many people it is simply not a big deal, which is just as it should be.
When I first introduced Sophie to some selected friends and colleagues, I was amazed at just how many of them had personal connections with people experiencing gender issues of one sort or another. Family members including close family members, friends, neighbours. Once you have a close connection to someone from a small minority, empathy and understanding tend to flow naturally. The sheer number of examples mentioned to me made me realise that when people say that they DON’T know anyone with gender issues, it’s highly likely that they do… but that those individuals are not comfortable sharing it with them. A matter for some to reflect upon, I think.
In just a couple of cases I’ve met confusion and resistance. Plenty of other responses have been lovely and made me smile, but a few have been positive yet made me feel a little sad.
From the lovely “aha, now it all makes sense” above to the more wistful “Well done! I never had the courage to do that, I’ve just hidden it for several decades and live it in private only” which came from more than one individual, and each arrived as a complete bolt out of the blue.
…to actually genuinely being asked in person “are those real?”, somewhat shocking the other person present, and shortly after that a more clandestine “is it sexual?” question too!
Along the way, some really touching anecdotes which I won’t attempt to share simply because anonymising them is either too difficult or too tortuous. But I have appreciated every single one.
How Do I Feel?
And Where Do I Go From Here?
Well I still don’t know, I’m still not going to worry about it, and I’m still intending to enjoy the journey – whatever the Final Destination™️. There is “a time to be born and a time to die”, but the bit in between… that should be the fun bit. And right now, it is – something of a novelty for me, to be honest. Long may it stay that way.
Sophie Baskerville 