The Office

The handbags and the gladrags

The first time I went for a proper night out in girl-mode was New Year’s Eve, 2019-12-31, accompanied and supported by a close friend without whom I’d never have managed it. I’m going to share a photograph of that night out further down in this article, because it shows such a look of happiness on my face. This will be the first time I’ve shown my face on here, and you will understand why if you read this article.

“This is Covid-19, not Covid-1 folks…”¹

Shortly after that night, Covid reached the UK and there was no going out anywhere, regardless of mode. There were many, many other things to worry about – the shockingly poor understanding of the most basic basics of science by certain politicians, especially in the UK & US if nothing else.

In the latter part of 2020, my friend in the photo emigrated to the EU to make sure she could take advantage of the rights we were about to lose as a result of brexshit².

All Systems are GO & All Lights are Green³

It was not until 2022 that I was able, and sufficiently confident, to go out like that again. The fear and anxiety involved in going out in girl-mode, alone, is quite a hurdle to overcome.

But I did it. Me, myself, & I. And I am proud that I did.

An Observational Digression

Incidentally, I have spoken with a surprisingly large number of men who have never managed to cross that hurdle, despite really wanting to. It is sad that society can appear (and indeed be) so unwelcoming to people’s inner selves that they end up existing rather than living, and certainly not living their best lives possible. We should, as a society, be better than this. We can be better than this.

No one, outside the necessary realms of Witness Protection and some of the more sensitive areas of Government Service, should need to have a “Secret” identity. I don’t want to conceal a significant part of my life; people can accept me as I am, or not accept me at all. And this is why I am now showing my face here and drawing together, slowly and gently, my two identities.

Who is that masked man? Is it Penry, the mild-mannered Janitor? Could be…..!

But I digress.

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

After going out alone in girl-mode quite a few times in 2022, going to Malta Pride, Rome Pride (including a tour of the Vatican Gardens – well, the Vatican is full of men in dresses anyway), Manchester Pride, nightclubbing in Bucharest alone, and touring former dictator Ceaușescu‘s mansion, I was much more comfortable in girl-mode and cared so much less about what other people thought.

Also in 2022, I accidentally introduced girl-mode to some colleagues via an instant messaging accident whilst extremely tired, and shortly after that managed to take a painful tumble down a full staircase and spend several interesting hours in A&E in girl-mode too, unfortunately!

Not Cricket

After this, I decided to introduce Sophie to a much wider pool of work colleagues, family, and friends, and she attended a meeting of colleagues for Xmas at the Munich Cricket Club in London in December 2022 where, strangely, no cricket is played but much beer is consumed.

24h Party Person

2023 was, in the earlier half, a somewhat depressed time for me. But in the latter half more of a whirl of Sophie partying.

And now, here we are in 2024.

The Office

Today, for the first time ever, Sophie is working from an office building with other people in it. And the reactions? Nothing but positive and welcoming. Video calls may have surprised a few people, but close colleagues coped seamlessly with the complications that this introduced. One joined an early morning call from a day off just so that he could be supportive, and that was really appreciated.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

So from the last day of 2019 to today, that’s quite the journey for me. An easy one compared with the longer and more complex ones which some have to undergo.

I’ve said before, but will add again here: I’ve no intention of transitioning full-time. I have two parts to me, and both are valued and important. Both contribute to my personality and character, each has their foibles and attributes. Each supports the other. Both play their part, both will stay.