Pride. And Prejudice.

Pride

All the Pride Events which I have attended have been welcoming, friendly and diverse. Of course, they take place in real world cities & towns where not everyone is as welcoming or friendly. But it’s still much better overall here in the UK than in many parts of the world, even with the attempts here by certain politicians to stir up hatred, division and “othering”.

Many Pride events were unable to run during the worst parts of the Covid Pandemic, but they are starting up again now. They are joyous events, celebrations of accepting everyone as individuals.

And Prejudice

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me”

Jane Austen

There were two incidents of note during the weekend. The first was relatively minor, the second less so.

Walking through the busy city centre on the Saturday evening, the pavement was blocked by a gaggle of 8-10 late teen/early 20s lads. They are staring and giggling, and a few comments are exchanged between them; about me although nothing actually directed at me, and the looks are far more of curiosity than of overt hostility. They’re out in a group together because they’re clearly all single, and they’ve not had much exposure to the diversity of modern society. It’s a little intimidating, and the obvious “leader of the pack” is standing right in my way and thinking about saying something or otherwise making things awkward for me – in a way that he’d almost certainly never do if on his own. Boy-herds can be weird.

Of course, I have the advantage that I’ve been a teenage boy. I know how fragile their egos are and how much of what they do is a mere façade of bravado. From several metres out I stare right into his eyes, unblinking, not looking away as I walk confidently (and dare I say elegantly on my 12cm heels) along the pavement with no sign of being intimidated. It’s too much for him and he moves out of my way without fuss or comment. I hope that they will all mature to enjoy the freedom to be themselves, whatever that turns out to be. In a group that size, I’d be amazed if at least one of them didn’t have a nascent girl-mode, and I sincerely hope that society gives them the space and confidence to be themselves.

Then a somewhat darker incident. I’ve never been the victim of a hate crime before, and it came as something of a shock to realise that I had been. So first here is the UK definition for reference.

Walking through the very centre of a smallish city on their Pride weekend, and looking (even if I say so myself) quite fabulous, a truck drove past and a stream of loud obscenities were hurled at me out of the window. I couldn’t even tell you what was said, but the sense of it was clearly abusive, offensive and most definitely unwelcome. Of course, this is the sort of thing which women suffer every day, so part of me wanted to ignore it.

I would have done too, but for three things.

Firstly, it did make me feel a little upset; there I was having a lovely time, and someone chose deliberately to go out of their way to try to upset me. That’s just nasty.

Secondly, what if they did it to someone with less confidence than myself? Thinking back to the very first time I stepped out fully dressed & made-up, alone, and in daylight… that would have crushed my confidence completely. If no action were taken, they would do it again and again, and maybe to someone more vulnerable.

Thirdly, they did it from a truck with the name of the company and its phone numbers plastered all over it…

A few minutes later, I was talking to what turned out to be the man who owned the company. He was angry – not with me, with what had happened. He asked me to let him call me back, which I was quite happy to do. A few minutes later he phoned back having spoken to the driver. Seems it was the passenger who shouted out (would explain why it was so loud, I was on that side as it passed). Assured me that he would get to the bottom of it in person and was minded to terminate the employment of the individual because it was not behaviour that he found at all acceptable. He told me enough that I believe he was sincere & genuine, and I said I was happy to leave the matter with him.

So how do I feel about someone quite likely having lost their employment? Well, the figures for suicide attempts (both failed and successful) by LGBTQ+ individuals, especially those who are young and isolated, are quite horrendous. Personally, I think that It’s important to stand up for people who may be vulnerable, especially younger people finding their feet and their own identity. So he may have lost his job, but that’s less impactful than actually being charged with a Hate Crime and ending up with a criminal record.

https://galop.org.uk/ supports LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse and violence, should you need support after an incident.

Aside from this, an excellent Pride weekend, where I received many compliments about my dresses, makeup and, in particular, my false eyelashes.